Updated: Jan 10
First, I just want to take the time out to say thank you to Issa Rae because she did what she had to do on the final episode of Insecure. For the first time that I can remember Insecure showed me what it looks like for Black women who consistently reinvent themselves reaching new goals, to have a happy ending. Reflecting on other shows like Girlfriends, HTGAWM, Being Mary Jane, and etc. the norm for a successful black woman is misery associated loneliness. Not to mention having to fix everyone else's issues around them, purifying the "Strong Black Woman" persona. Insecure honestly made me wonder, "Why can’t black women have it all?" ... I want it all! Why? Because I work hard. Is that not enough?
Black women deserve luxury(.) Let me type it again for the folks who may have skimmed over what they just read... BLACK WOMEN DESERVE LUXURY(.) The final season of Insecure showed the world what it looks like to have a career, love life, and sisterhood. It was so pure and so beautiful to watch especially because I could relate to most of the characters on the show in some way.
This past year, I made it my mission to give myself whatever I desired with no hesitation. I wanted to experience a life of luxury that I created on my own. And let me tell you, 2021 was definitely a top two year for me. I traveled to Costa Rica, Mexico, and Jamacia. I took mini road trips and I spent intentional time with family and friends. I made sure to treat myself along the way to lavish things I have always wanted. Why? An unwarranted question asked to me on multiple occasions. The answer remains the same ... because it is what I WANTED TO DO and I enjoyed it every step of the way. I went with the flow and did whatever it took, to keep a smile on my face.
This is honestly behavior I encourage, especially to young women in their twenties because this time of our lives is what we will never get back. Enjoy your youth because it's irreplaceable.
However, the one area where I found it hard to find any success was my love life. Sadly, I found that this is because I am successful. LOL, who would have thought that this would be a hindering factor on my prospects. The further I get in my career, I am finding that this is a hindrance because most men have egos, and those are egos I am unwillingly to stroke.
I think my question is … do they make secure men anymore? Like a man that is so secure in himself that nothing bothers him because he knows and understands what he brings to the table. One who won’t question your fashion choices, how lavishly you decide to live your life, or even how hard you work because he understands the reason for your grind. I just want to know why are there so many insecure men on earth for women to coddle… I refuse to do it and I do not encourage it.
Anyway, I think my absolute favorite part about last year was seeing other black women flaunt their luxury and lifestyles on social media. It served as motivation to me to strive for that level of success and independence. I want everyone to have an happy ending. And that is why the Insecure finale was so important for the culture, for black women. Insecure used its platform to create and start a conversation about a new norm and I am picking up the baton to continue this level of conversation. What does it mean to have it all to you? Do you honestly believe a black women can have it all? I just like everyone else want a happy ending. How about you?