Finding My Way!
Updated: Jan 9, 2022
Lets Get Into the Tea of my Unfinished Business
I entered 2021 knowing that this year would be a great one. It was not just a feeling I had but also something that I was committed to seeing into fruition. However, I couldn't develop a theme for my year (something I always do) until last month. I realized that I have been on a silent mission to accomplish and go for all of the things that I (and no one else) wanted to do and accomplish. I'm on a mission to achieve the only vital goals to me and no one else. It's like getting to my unfinished business, and that is all thanks to 2020. (Honey, God bless and thank you).
Let me start by saying 2020 was one of the most challenging years I have ever had––– butttt it was honestly a blessing in disguise, and it is a year that I would never change because it landed me here to create Mea Essentials and to own the new woman I'm becoming. I honestly walked into 2020 knowing that I would have a tough year. I remember being at my best friend's Goals Board party, going back and forth with her God Mom because I did not have high hopes about 2020.
Now, I am not trying to say I can see or predict the future or anything like that, but I do get certain feelings at the start of each year. And looking back at 2020, I was right. The one thing I prayed for was to grow internally. I wanted God to remove anything or anyone in my life that was not contributing to my growth, and that's exactly what happened. Not having graduation, senior ball, senior year, no flights, and just small moments I thought I should have had as a first-generation college student was honestly hurtful. However, it was in those moments of constant hurt and loss where I found myself. I found those struggles taught me about the authentic small moments I should have cherished.
Last year, forced me to reset and rewind. If you know me, you know I am such a busy body always looking to accomplish a new goal, set a new standard for myself, and still be a person that everyone could lean on. That was tough and draining. I lost a creative piece of myself because I just would feel so exhausted that I had nothing left to give myself at the end of every day. But, not having anything to do forcefully for about six months was a recharge for me. It made me question what I wanted and needed in this world to succeed. I began to read, write, paint, and workout for fun again. Little things I would not have done if the panny didn't hit us.
But let me say this being locked up in the house because of Covid drove me crazy, but it also brought me close to my family. My family was not playing about that pandemic. They were not taking any risk, but we made every event and moment special. We had like five birthdays back to back two graduations, and whatever event, we found an excuse to celebrate. I will say the home birthday I had, was the best birthday I ever had. (It makes me wonder why we ever left the concept of home birthdays. The world is getting too fancy and turning into a competition, and that's honestly whack. )
But the best part about being home was Tea Time we would have every morning and night. Drinking tea became a sport, honestly, in my house, but it was also a time to whine down, crack jokes, make plans, and just relax. These were the little moments where I'd realized that should be cherished. I looked forward to Tea Time. I would get offended if I weren't called during that time because like umm excuse me–––. But this is why my Mugs are essential to me. Tea Time highlighted the small moments we ignore that make us whole.
I started writing last year again daily because depression is real, and I honestly felt like no one understood or could help me in any way. Writing letters to myself always opens me up to a new world. I like to write without even thinking or stopping. I feel that way my most authentic feelings are revealed to the person I trust the most––myself. I think the best part about the things I write is that I can grow from that moment and go back and read to see the state I was in; It's like reading history, we read it to never to forget, and it reminds you where you need to go. Journaling is spiritual, and I feel that it's something all men and women should do. I want to pass my journals down to my children one day so they can read and see that I lived a life and that I'm human too!
"DEAR SELF,"By doing the small things, it led me here. I cannot wait to share this journey with you all!!!! This year is giving Black Girl Luxury. Cheers to excellent mental health, love, and life.
